Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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