turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
