I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize