Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
