Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize