dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
