Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
