Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
