if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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