so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
