god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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