Well douche your snatch and let's go!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
