Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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