i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
