i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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