is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
