Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
