just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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