The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
vagina is talking i cant
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
