Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my being single is dangerous.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
