that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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