You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
