I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
