Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
