Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
