it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
