It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
