His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
