before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
