What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
