Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
