I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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