i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
