I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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