But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
