after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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