Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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