remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
