dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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