she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
