Screwed.edu
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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