i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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