dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think my fart just growled at me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
