No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
