A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
tell your sister to shave her snatch
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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