well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
