This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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