Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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