This is not my ceiling
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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