walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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