margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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