You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
