I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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