We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
is that a dick in a sweater?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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