I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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