Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
