My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
