census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
