I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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