Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
