Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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